Joshua and Ryan discuss the perils of pursuing fame, clout, and attention in today's insta-world with director Nick Bilton and artist Chris Bailey of HBO’s Fake Famous, and they answer the following questions:
Why did Nick make a film about fake fame? (00:00)
What constitutes actual fame? (07:01)
What impact is social media having on our children? (09:24)
How has Chris’s life changed since the film? (13:04)
Why do the people who just post photos of themselves in skimpy outfits and pouts get five million followers, yet the people who actually have something meaningful to say get only a handful of followers? (21:27)
What is the number one photo opportunity in L.A. for influencers? (26:49)
What is an “Instagram vacation”? (27:55)
If maintaining social media accounts is part of our daily work, how do we incorporate minimalism to ensure our use is intentional, appropriate, and valuable? (28:38)
What value have you gotten from social media? (32:19)
Has the experience of the global pandemic actually helped us get away from our glowing screens? (32:57)
What is the prime purpose of social media? (35:52)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about gift-getting, gift-giving, and birthday celebrations for adults and kids alike with podcaster and Registered Dietitian Rebecca Shern, and they answer the following questions:
What does Joshua want for his birthday? (00:00)
Why do we never seem to know what we truly want? (04:06)
Instead of spending lots of money and giving expensive gifts, what are some meaningful ways to celebrate birthdays? (06:22)
How do you celebrate your child’s birthday? (07:27)
What if gift-giving is one of my love languages? (11:14)
How do you celebrate your birthday? (14:57)
Is gift-giving just a matter of simply asking others what they want? (17:31)
How do we appropriately address a loved one who insists on giving us gifts when we’ve asked them countless times not to, and do we tell them that we’ve actually given away most of the gifts they’ve given us? (18:20)
How do my spouse and I address the societal expectations of others regarding our choice of participation in traditional gift-giving events, such as birthdays and Christmas? (31:04)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about how minimalism, in more ways than one, is about starting over with less, and they answer the following questions:
How do we start over? (00:00)
As I’m letting everything go and starting over, how do I explain it to my friends and family who think I am crazy or terminally ill? (05:25)
What advice do you have for those of us dealing with the stress and anxiety of being forced to start over professionally after being let go from our jobs? (09:06)
What is absolutely essential? (11:51)
What two questions should we ask ourselves when we’re considering a fresh start? (14:43)
How important is an emergency fund when you’re starting over? (15:46)
Is starting over simply a matter of considering a new direction? (16:23)
When you’re starting over from scratch and you realize you can’t do it alone, how do you get over your pride and ask others for help? (17:46)
What is the difference between enhancement and dependency? (19:38)
Why should we give money rather than loan money? (21:56)
When you’re starting over with nothing, how do you live without sentimental stuff in your life? (25:53)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about what we must refine to ensure our spiritual and material lives align with author, podcaster, and fitness expert Ben Greenfield and podcaster and Registered Dietitian Rebecca Shern, and they answer the following questions:
What is a “fit soul”? (00:00)
What are the dangers of transactional relationships? (08:47)
What are the four pillars of the spiritual journey? (13:35)
What is the practice of self-examination? (18:02)
How do we determine our purpose? (21:38)
Is there a link between sex and spirituality? (26:44)
How do you explain sex to your children? (29:21)
What is “eye gazing”? (33:58)
How do you punish and reward your children? (36:12)
What is the “God-shaped hole”? (39:59)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about how we all seem to find ourselves having the things we don’t need, and needing the things we don’t have—and how we’re so disconnected from our communities that bartering for those things is nearly impossible—with the founder of HaveNeed, Josh Kline, and they answer the following questions:
What is HaveNeed? (00:00)
How has the pandemic affected bartering? (04:01)
What is your distinction between items that are essential, nonessential, and junk? (06:16)
What would the world look like if there was no such thing as money, which has a vice-like grip on the material world; that is, what would the world look like if it ran strictly on barter? (07:02)
What is the history of bartering? (07:26)
What is the “mutual coincidence of wants”? (08:11)
What is “Object A”? (13:44)
Bartering has been around forever, but seems to have fallen out of favor in recent times—why? (26:51)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about our want for things, why we want what we want, and how we can free ourselves from chasing unfulfilling desires with author and professor Luke Burgis, and they answer the following questions:
What is mimetic desire? (00:00)
Does it help to identify the origins of our desires? (05:05)
Should we strive to be immune from desires? (06:54)
What is negative imitation? (08:22)
How do we find fulfilling desires? (08:48)
Can a relentless desire to be debt-free actually cause adverse unintended consequences? (12:39)
What are “borrowed desires”? (16:17)
What costs should we consider in the pursuit of our desires? (18:13)
What is a “misery tax”? (19:42)
How do we recognize and address the influences, especially those online, that promote mindless consumption? (24:08)
How is social media addictive? (24:39)
What is “hate watching”? (26:33)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about how to take back control of our income and our creative outcomes by making a living on our own as an aspiring creator, small business owner, artist, or entrepreneur with the CEO of Patreon, Jack Conte, and they answer the following questions:
Why did Jack start Patreon? (04:40)
Where do you find the most practical feedback from your audience? (13:25)
How do I best prepare myself to make the jump from working full-time for others to working full-time as a small business owner with as much tranquility as possible? (15:46)
What should be my primary focus as a budding entrepreneur? (18:20)
How did Jack benefit from his “not be prudent” approach to his professional pursuits? (22:23)
When do you know it’s time to turn your side hustle into your full-time business? (26:00)
What is the first step I should take to become an online creator? (27:32)
What do you mean by “add value”? (28:55)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about our desire for friendship that leads us to accumulate scores of friends, acquaintances, coworkers, partners, lovers, companions, contacts, colleagues, and associates; our realization that relationship clutter is getting in the way of loving, meaningful connections; and they answer the following questions:
Is it loving to let go? (00:00)
How can I stop feeling pressured to keep up with so many connections? (03:57)
I’ve never struggled to declutter my “friends” on social media when they no longer have a meaningful place in my life, but how do I explain their removal when they ask me about it without hurting their feelings? (13:53)
What does a truly healthy friendship look like? (20:56)
How do we ensure mutual respect in a relationship? (28:46)
How do we appropriately apply attention in a relationship? (29:43)
How do you define “toxic relationship”? (34:49)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about that empty feeling we all experience from time to time—and the things we do when we attempt to fill the void—with podcaster, writer, and director Jennette McCurdy, and they answer the following questions:
Why did Jennette start her podcast? (00:00)
What is the disconnect between our higher quality of life in this modern age and our happiness? (04:26)
How does society and culture influence disorders? (06:21)
Why do others often insist we not give up our “successful” careers? (10:59)
What are the three different types of relationships? (14:06)
How do we appropriately manage expectations in relationships? (16:09)
I think minimalism can help many of my loved ones find meaning in their lives and avoid the void, but I find it difficult to communicate it to them effectively so they see and understand the benefits and find it more attractive than the rat race they’re in—any tips? (20:01)
What is the elevator pitch for minimalism? (20:35)
How do you address the shame that sometimes accompanies minimalism? (23:50)
How is power the opposite of freedom? (24:26)
Was Jennette shamed for walking away from her acting career? (25:40)
Does confidence come from consistency? (26:58)
Filling our voids with stuff isn’t good, but what is good—what should we replace that consumption urge with that is meaningful? (28:37)
What is the “suckhole”? (33:33)
Why is Jennette’s podcast titled Empty Inside? (36:28)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan discuss identifying how much is enough so we can subtract the excess to get there, and they answer the following questions:
What is “enoughism”? (00:00)
How is enoughism different from minimalism? (03:04)
Given that the key to transformation is understanding our ‘whys,’ why does anyone truly want more, and, conversely, why does anyone truly want less? (12:20)
When it comes to a small business, how much record-keeping is enough and what is the ideal way to store it? (24:57)
How does renouncing something create an attachment to it? (30:09)
How do we learn to recognize the difference between enough and a false sense of security and comfort from unnecessary consumerism? (39:35)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about our constant search for meaning, purpose, and significance; they discuss ways we can rethink spirituality, sex, and death with author Jamie Wheal; and they answer the following questions:
What is “meaning”? (01:04)
Why do we always seem to look for shortcuts? (03:57)
What are heuristics? (05:30)
What constitutes a true nihilist? (13:39)
Is awareness a curse? (16:55)
Once we find meaning in life, do we have a duty to help others find meaning as well? (18:25)
What is the difference between being selfish and being self-centered? (20:01)
What is the Hedonic treadmill? (25:19)
What is the difference between narcissism and nihilism? (27:29)
What is rapture ideology? (35:35)
How does one find meaning after a close loved one has passed and they are struggling to deal with the passing? (40:43)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan discuss how we’re too often led astray by the status quo and how we can benefit from doing the opposite, and they answer the following questions:
What does it mean to be authentic? (00:00)
What is so problematic about trends? (04:58)
Can we find meaning in suffering? (10:56)
Why are opinions so inconsequential? (20:48)
When have you benefited from thinking the opposite? (22:21)
I’m being advised by my ethics class in college that retirement is detrimental to our growth and development as human beings—do you think that is true? (29:20)
What is the best kind of growth? (34:31)
Some of the worst advice I’ve received is, “Fake it until you make it”—what is wrong with being a work in progress? (44:30)
How is all advice flawed advice? (44:59)
Do we improve our lives more by addition or subtraction? (52:00)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan discuss minimizing and letting go of sentimental stuff, and they answer the following questions:
How do we tactfully and appropriately address loved ones regarding stuff they’ve given us that we’re giving away—especially those things they consider of significant sentimental value? (08:37)
How do we avoid arguments with loved ones regarding possessions? (14:40)
Why does our brain try so hard to hold us back from releasing sentimental possessions? (18:03)
What do we do with all of the things associated with a loved one when we’ve lost them in a particularly tragic, traumatic way? (21:01)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan discuss trauma, the ego, and setting boundaries with holistic psychologist Dr. Nicole LePera, and they answer the following questions:
Why did Dr. LePera write her latest book? (02:31)
How do you start on a path to healing and commit to it when your motivation is almost nil? (04:34)
Why is it so difficult to break our patterns? (05:04)
How do we reframe failure? (07:38)
How important is the caloric intake of the brain? (08:35)
How do we recognize if a goal is empowering or disempowering? (13:09)
How do I work with loved ones to adjust our lifestyle preferences so I can attain and maintain mental peace? (13:36)
How do you forgive others and yourself and move forward when a loved one passes suddenly and you feel you haven’t had a chance to tell them everything you needed to, and how do you forgive others that you feel treated that person terribly in life and let go of the anger toward them? (18:30)
How are forgiveness and acceptance associated? (19:31)
How do we let go of anger? (25:37)
Are there types of bodywork that address the mind-body connection together, or are there types of psychotherapy that address the mind-body connection in tandem? (30:28)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan discuss emergency items, preparing for emergencies, and when it’s appropriate to hold on to certain just-in-case items, and they answer the following questions:
How do we prepare for chaos? (04:33)
What are the three types of emergencies? (05:49)
What do you keep in your car? (08:02)
How do we reconcile what we actually need with what we want? (12:12)
What is the most important thing in an emergency? (14:36)
What essentials should we keep in a first aid kit for both home and travel? (19:18)
What is the difference between an emergency item and a just-in-case item? (25:50)
How do you differentiate between just-in-case items and just-for-when items? (31:42)
What are “b.s. emergency items”? (36:36)
What books, websites, podcasts would you recommend as resources for information regarding emergency preparedness? (43:27)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan discuss the relationship between minimalism and environmentalism with author and environmental lawyer Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., and they answer the following questions:
What is our biggest environmental problem, and is it too late to fix it? (01:38)
Since environmentalism is an idea that I cannot back down from, compromise on, or see from both sides, at what point is it dangerous to keep saying there are no ‘shoulds’? (04:33)
Why are landfills more prominent in the United States compared to Europe? (09:28)
How can we make individuals and companies more environmentally conscious? (11:47)
What is your opinion regarding the policy of the United States to ‘leap-first, look-later’ regarding environmental chemicals? (23:29)
What is the Toxic Substance Control Act? (27:36)
What are PFAs? (29:46)
Why have we seen such an increase in chronic diseases among children? (30:53)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about the problem of busyness and how we can better manage our time, and they answer the following questions:
Why can’t we ever seem to get ahead of our to-do lists? (01:43)
What lists do you find helpful? (02:13)
What is “busyness”? (06:42)
How do we gain more discretionary time despite the onslaught of modern obligations and responsibilities? (11:25)
Is striving for work-life balance a fruitless endeavor? (13:58)
Are there any tools that can help with our overwhelm? (16:06)
What is the fear related to busyness? (17:24)
What can someone do if they feel they’re too busy to figure out how to become less busy? (25:30)
Would you be doing what you’re doing today if you only had six months left to live? (28:28)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about hoarding—the clinical definition, the statistics, the causes, the symptoms, the common types, the risks, the recovery—and they answer the following questions:
What is the clinical definition of “hoarding”? (03:00)
What is “spartanism”? (03:35)
What are the common types of hoarding? (05:43)
What is the difference between hoarding and collecting? (09:30)
What is the “sunk-cost fallacy”? (11:02)
What are the symptoms of hoarding? (21:56)
What are the causes of hoarding? (23:30)
How is hoarding diagnosed? (27:51)
Do children hoard? (29:41)
When do obsessions become unhealthy? (31:38)
What are the five levels of hoarding? (32:04)
Are there affluent hoarders? (43:17)
How does one become a hoarder? (45:16)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about alternative living options—communal living, throuples, combined families, long-term singlehood, nomadic living—with the CEO and cofounder of Nourish Balance Thrive, Christopher Kelly, and they answer the following questions:
What is ancestral health? (03:20)
What has likely caused our overall decline in health? (05:08)
Is our current status quo of living arrangements in detrimental conflict with the natural order? (07:28)
How do people continue to help the paradigm of the nuclear family work? (10:40)
How do we set appropriate boundaries with roommates and ensure those boundaries are not crossed to prevent theft, property damage, and tense co-living environments? (11:59)
What is Christopher’s communal living arrangement? (12:38)
Why did Christopher adopt his communal living arrangement? (13:53)
How does Christopher manage living with several different families? (15:34)
What is ‘helicopter parenting’? (20:53)
What is your definition of “commune”? (22:59)
What are the pros and cons of unusual living arrangements in cultures that wholly embrace them? (28:36)
What does the “WEIRD” acronym represent? (30:56)
How do you define “solitude”? (32:40)
What is Joshua’s living arrangement? (33:51)
What is the ‘sweet spot’ regarding how many people you can live with? (35:25)
Who created the monogamous nuclear family? (38:40)
At what point does a group become a cult? (48:50)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about unsubscribing and unfollowing anything that doesn’t bring tranquility or increase well-being, and they answer the following questions:
How has unsubscribing and unfollowing helped your tranquility? (08:36)
Should we attempt to explain ourselves to others when they question our minimalist lifestyle, or simply invite them to ‘unfollow’ us? (12:37)
Can minimalism help us bring order back to our chaotic lives? (14:44)
How do we determine the appropriate ‘path’? (18:50)
We can’t impose tranquility on the world around us, so how do we adjust our internal settings to maintain inner tranquility? (23:10)
Why do insults irritate us so intensely? (29:09)
How do we adjust relationships that are predicated on conflict? (31:20)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about letting go—letting go of sentimental items, letting go of junk, letting go of anxiety and stress—letting go of anything that harms our well-being or interrupts our peace, and they answer the following questions:
How do our things own us? (02:53)
Given that I’m under a deadline to move, how can I increase my decluttering pace without becoming overwhelmed and stressed? (08:44)
Are there circumstances where a storage unit makes sense? (11:04)
When the amount of your belongings is completely overwhelming, how—and where—do you even start? (18:06)
Why are we so obsessed with prescriptiveness? (18:54)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about raising organized children with behavioral and developmental pediatrician Dr. Damon Korb, and they answer the following questions:
What are executive functions? (01:34)
What is behavioral pediatrics? (02:18)
What do you mean by “organized children”? (02:47)
How has the pandemic affected children’s health? (03:24)
How do we set appropriate boundaries with our children? (04:58)
How do we help our children adopt minimalist practices that stick at an early age so they don’t lose them and suffer the consequences in adulthood? (05:38)
How can we be minimalist parents? (06:50)
How can we teach our children to be problem-solvers? (09:51)
How can we help our children deal with boredom? (10:35)
What advice do you have for first-time parents? (14:43)
How do you balance setting boundaries with a child while still allowing them room to explore and learn about who they are? (19:16)
How do we appropriately handle our expectations regarding our children? (21:54)
What are the “5 H’s” regarding kids? (27:30)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about success, failure, fulfillment, and satisfaction—and how incessantly chasing those things can lead to foolness rather than fullness—and they answer the following questions:
What does success mean to you? (03:06)
What are your beliefs regarding spirituality? (07:38)
How do value judgments affect success? (13:08)
What is nihilism? (14:39)
How do I overcome my addiction to procrastination so I can focus on doing meaningful work? (17:00)
What are the two kinds of ‘haves’? (19:53)
What is the “thing you can’t not do”? (20:21)
What is the best way to address distractions? (29:25)
What do you mean by “the costs we must pay”? (32:08)
How do you rebuild yourself and restructure your idea of success after a failure? (36:09)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about the mental, emotional, digital, and other clutter that reveals itself after we minimize our stuff, and they answer the following questions:
When are how-to’s helpful? (02:23)
How do we appropriately curate scanned photos so we’re not trading physical clutter for digital clutter? (13:57)
What advice do you have for young people who are embarking on their minimalist journeys so they have solid practices in place to prevent clutter? (25:43)
What one piece of advice would you give your younger self? (26:28)
How do we appropriately curate our many digital subscriptions and still satisfy ourselves since each service has programs exclusive to its platform? (31:56)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support
Joshua and Ryan talk about love, relationships, sex, and parenting with blogger, podcaster, and Registered Dietitian Becca Shern, and they answer the following questions:
What is our language problem? (02:11)
What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone? (03:45)
What does commitment mean to you? (05:30)
What is your definition of “love”? (09:55)
How do you view unconditional love? (13:25)
How do you recognize when it’s time to end a relationship? (16:11)
What are the three components of a relationship? (24:16)
Why is compatibility the most difficult component of most relationships? (26:38)
Do you ever passionately disagree about important decisions that affect the entire family, and, if so, how do you handle compromise and conflict resolution? (31:44)
Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast
Support The Minimalists: minimalists.com/support